Banoffee Mini Pies

These are awesome. I first had banoffee pie in London. It's got toffee, and it's got bananas--a delicious combo. This recipe does take a bit of time...a good 2 hours to make the dulce de leche, and then, depending how many mini pies you're making, a good 2-3 minutes to prep and caramelize the bananas for each. It is worth it, my friends. They are impressive looking, and delicious, and you will impress the pants off anyone you serve them to. So just be prepared for the off-pantsing.

Side note...I used a jumbo muffin pan to make my mini pie crusts, but you could also make a normal pie, or in a square pan (cutting them up will be messy, but they will still be tasty), or you could use ramekins or small oven-proof bowls. I'm pretty sure mini foil pie pans also exist.

Ingredients:

Crust (x2):
2.2 oz shortening
1.25c flour
Dash salt
1/2t cinnamon
5T ice water

Filling:
2 cans sweetened condensed milk
6-7 bananas, ripe but not squishy
Spiced rum
Sugar

1. Make the tasty caramel. Pop those 2 cans of s.c. milk open and pour them into a pie plate. Cover tightly with foil. Now plop that sucker into a larger pan with taller sides, and pour enough hot water in to cover the pie plate about halfway. Bake in a 425-degree oven. Set your timer for 45 minutes. When it goes off, check the water level and make sure it's halfway up the pie plate. Set the timer for another 45 and check. Finally, set for 20 minutes. Take the pan out this time. Remove the foil and stir the caramel well. Cover it again and let it sit for a while.

2. Make the pie crusts. While the s.c. milk is doing its thang, you can make the pie crusts. First of all, get a small bowl, and put ice and water in it. Then, grab a big bowl, and measure out the shortening, flour, cinnamon, and salt. Mix it all together by pinching off pieces of the shortening until it's all pea-size or smaller, and incorporated into the flour. (Hack: I’ve since found a quicker way to do this. Prepare yourselves. You throw the shortening into the flour mixture…then pick up handfuls and rub your hands together over it. Place the fingertips of one hand on the heel of the other, and then slide those fingertips toward the other hand’s fingertips, and vice versa. This sounds like b.s., but believe me, it works! Kinda reminiscent of making Play Doh snakes…I know you remember how.) Separate the mixture into four little piles inside the bowl. Measure out 1T of ice water into each pile, and mix together with your fingers. Use the last T of water to wet any remaining dry stuff, and mix everything into a big ball. Put the dough on a well-floured surface, and make sure to dust it thoroughly with flour. Rip a small gob of dough from the ball--slightly smaller than a golf ball is about right. Use a rolling pin to roll out the dough. Roll one way, then flip and turn the dough and roll the other way--keep the dough roughly circular. The edges will be ragged, but that's OK...it'll make the mini crusts look rustic and awesome. Make sure you grease the jumbo muffin pan very well--then arrange a piece of dough in each cup.

You'll need to repeat this step...it pays to only make one batch of pie crust at a time. It's some sort of baxter magic. (Did you know there was a word for female baker? Now you do.)

When you've got all 12 cups prepped with dough, poke 'em all with a fork. Then pop them in the oven. Check them every few minutes until they're crispy, but not burnt! It should only be about 7 minutes in that hot hot oven.

3. Do something else for awhile, cuz let's face it, it probably hasn't been two hours yet. Go read. Or make something for dinner. Or melt chocolate chips in the microwave and toss with dried cranberries, then plop on a foiled cookie sheet and put it in the fridge. Mmm, those are good.

4. Add the first half of the filling. Scoop a few spoonfuls of the caramel into each mini pie crust. Take care to sample the caramel several times. This is important.

5. Create caramelized banana-rum deliciousness. Break out a saute pan and lightly grease it. Slice up one banana at a time. Dip the banana medallions into a small bowl filled with sugar. Arrange the slices in the pan. Turn the burner on high, and add a splash of spiced rum to the pan. Listen to the banana--when it really starts sizzling, flip each slice over. The top side should now be a nice toasty brown color, and look a bit crusty. It'll smell good, too, not burnt. Wait another 30 seconds or so, and then turn the heat off. Put half of the banana slices on each mini pie.


That's it! See? Impressive. Try saying the following without being impressed: Crispy, flaky, made-from-scratch mini crusts filled with freshmade dulce de leche and banana medallions caramelized with rum. You can't. Make sure you serve them warm!


Edit: I'm going to try to include beer pairings for my recipes...this one is great with Belgian tripels and also a nice hefe, I'd imagine. Golden Monkey is my vote!

Crab Bisque

If you happen to buy a big old paper bag full of cooked crabs seasoned with old bay, and then have some left over, this is the perfect recipe. It requires a modicum of effort...well, anything with crabs does. Plan on spending 45 minutes just picking the meat out of the shells...well, you probably know this, if you eat crabs. As a recent crab-eater, the money and effort spent to eat crab still astounds me. Anyway, this recipe is awesome and delicious and you don't even have to season it cuz of the spices on the crab shells. Read on!

Crab Bisque

4 crabs
8-10 small potatoes
1 bag baby carrots
3 cans evaporated 2% milk

1. Pick the crabs. Put the meat in a bowl, and the shells in a pot.
2. Make crab stock. Cover the shells with hot water and boil uncovered over high heat for 30 minutes.
3.  Prep veggies. While the stock is boiling, chop up the veggies. I suggest cutting up three of the potatoes into very small pieces so they fall apart and add to the thickness of the bisque. I chopped another five into medium-size chunks, and the last couple into larger pieces. This way, there's a variety of textures in the soup. Slice the carrots into little medallions.
4. Begin the bisque. Pour the crab stock through a strainer into another pot. Discard the shells. Toss the crab meat, veggies, and evaporated milk into the pot. Here's the important part...
5. Boil the bisque. Cook the bisque over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until the liquid has cooked down about an inch. When the potatoes are done, and the smallest pieces of potato have fallen apart, and the liquid is thicker than it was when you started (check by dribbling some from the spoon every once in awhile), you're done.

Sriracha-Blue Cheese Chicken Sandwiches

Came up with the idea for these little beauties when I heard about the upcoming Sriracha Cookbook. Usually, I shy away from this sauce...though Joe loves it, it is way too spicy for me. However, after reading about the layers of flavor encapsulated within...garlic, ketchupy-sweetness...I thought maybe I should give it another shot. The best way seemed to be blending a small amount of it with a creamy base of some sort. After some thought, I came up with the following. Mixing with blue cheese creates a yummy buffalo-wing-esque flavor, and the marinade and rub add further layers of complexity. Yum! Give it a try. Don't be afraid to take the heat!

Sriracha-Blue Cheese Chicken Sandwiches
Makes 4 sandwiches

2 large chicken breasts
4 hamburger buns

Marinade:
Granulated garlic
Red pepper flakes
Salt
Water to cover

Rub:
Packet of ranch dressing mix

Dressing:
1/4c blue cheese dressing
2t sriracha


1. Mix the sauce. Combine the blue cheese dressing and sriracha in a small bowl. Let sit for 30 minutes or longer to allow the flavors to meld.

2. Marinate the chicken. Grab a large bowl. Toss in some garlic, salt, and red pepper flakes. Pour in some water and mix up. Throw (ok, gently place) the chicken breasts in there. Fill with water until the breasts are covered over. Refrigerate an hour or overnight.

3. Rub the chicken. Remove the breasts from the marinade. Pat them dry with a paper towel. Cut each breast in half. Rub all sides with ranch dressing mix.

4. Grill. Grill the chicken on medium heat until done...about 25-35 minutes.

5. Toast buns. Don't burn them!

6. Serve. Place tasty seasoned chicken breast pieces on buns; top with blue cheese/sriracha sauce. Good with a big red leaf lettuce salad...the water helps take the heat off!

Enjoy. And don't get any sriracha in your eye, cuz I bet that would hurt a lot. It's made with chiles, you know.