Banoffee Mini Pies

These are awesome. I first had banoffee pie in London. It's got toffee, and it's got bananas--a delicious combo. This recipe does take a bit of time...a good 2 hours to make the dulce de leche, and then, depending how many mini pies you're making, a good 2-3 minutes to prep and caramelize the bananas for each. It is worth it, my friends. They are impressive looking, and delicious, and you will impress the pants off anyone you serve them to. So just be prepared for the off-pantsing.

Side note...I used a jumbo muffin pan to make my mini pie crusts, but you could also make a normal pie, or in a square pan (cutting them up will be messy, but they will still be tasty), or you could use ramekins or small oven-proof bowls. I'm pretty sure mini foil pie pans also exist.

Ingredients:

Crust (x2):
2.2 oz shortening
1.25c flour
Dash salt
1/2t cinnamon
5T ice water

Filling:
2 cans sweetened condensed milk
6-7 bananas, ripe but not squishy
Spiced rum
Sugar

1. Make the tasty caramel. Pop those 2 cans of s.c. milk open and pour them into a pie plate. Cover tightly with foil. Now plop that sucker into a larger pan with taller sides, and pour enough hot water in to cover the pie plate about halfway. Bake in a 425-degree oven. Set your timer for 45 minutes. When it goes off, check the water level and make sure it's halfway up the pie plate. Set the timer for another 45 and check. Finally, set for 20 minutes. Take the pan out this time. Remove the foil and stir the caramel well. Cover it again and let it sit for a while.

2. Make the pie crusts. While the s.c. milk is doing its thang, you can make the pie crusts. First of all, get a small bowl, and put ice and water in it. Then, grab a big bowl, and measure out the shortening, flour, cinnamon, and salt. Mix it all together by pinching off pieces of the shortening until it's all pea-size or smaller, and incorporated into the flour. (Hack: I’ve since found a quicker way to do this. Prepare yourselves. You throw the shortening into the flour mixture…then pick up handfuls and rub your hands together over it. Place the fingertips of one hand on the heel of the other, and then slide those fingertips toward the other hand’s fingertips, and vice versa. This sounds like b.s., but believe me, it works! Kinda reminiscent of making Play Doh snakes…I know you remember how.) Separate the mixture into four little piles inside the bowl. Measure out 1T of ice water into each pile, and mix together with your fingers. Use the last T of water to wet any remaining dry stuff, and mix everything into a big ball. Put the dough on a well-floured surface, and make sure to dust it thoroughly with flour. Rip a small gob of dough from the ball--slightly smaller than a golf ball is about right. Use a rolling pin to roll out the dough. Roll one way, then flip and turn the dough and roll the other way--keep the dough roughly circular. The edges will be ragged, but that's OK...it'll make the mini crusts look rustic and awesome. Make sure you grease the jumbo muffin pan very well--then arrange a piece of dough in each cup.

You'll need to repeat this step...it pays to only make one batch of pie crust at a time. It's some sort of baxter magic. (Did you know there was a word for female baker? Now you do.)

When you've got all 12 cups prepped with dough, poke 'em all with a fork. Then pop them in the oven. Check them every few minutes until they're crispy, but not burnt! It should only be about 7 minutes in that hot hot oven.

3. Do something else for awhile, cuz let's face it, it probably hasn't been two hours yet. Go read. Or make something for dinner. Or melt chocolate chips in the microwave and toss with dried cranberries, then plop on a foiled cookie sheet and put it in the fridge. Mmm, those are good.

4. Add the first half of the filling. Scoop a few spoonfuls of the caramel into each mini pie crust. Take care to sample the caramel several times. This is important.

5. Create caramelized banana-rum deliciousness. Break out a saute pan and lightly grease it. Slice up one banana at a time. Dip the banana medallions into a small bowl filled with sugar. Arrange the slices in the pan. Turn the burner on high, and add a splash of spiced rum to the pan. Listen to the banana--when it really starts sizzling, flip each slice over. The top side should now be a nice toasty brown color, and look a bit crusty. It'll smell good, too, not burnt. Wait another 30 seconds or so, and then turn the heat off. Put half of the banana slices on each mini pie.


That's it! See? Impressive. Try saying the following without being impressed: Crispy, flaky, made-from-scratch mini crusts filled with freshmade dulce de leche and banana medallions caramelized with rum. You can't. Make sure you serve them warm!


Edit: I'm going to try to include beer pairings for my recipes...this one is great with Belgian tripels and also a nice hefe, I'd imagine. Golden Monkey is my vote!

Nutty Pig Omelet

Just now, I was inspired by an awesome and easy recipe I saw on The Kitchn (a great blog that can be found on my list to the right). They found a vintage book on canapes and photographed some of the pages. Here's the original canape recipe, paraphrased (cuz 40 words is too much to type):

Baconnette Canape
-Bacon
-Peanut butter

Spread slices of uncooked bacon with PB. Roll together, poke through with a toothpick, and cook under a flame until the bacon is done. Serve by inserting toothpicks into an apple.

---

So here's me: "Peanut butter and bacon? Bacon, with peanut butter. ... YES."

My first idea for combining these is to use the dastardly duo as an omelet filling. Though I haven't tried this out yet, I'm thinking I'd fry up the bacon first, then crumble into a bowl with PB and a little milk to help smooth it out. Cook up the omelet as usual (I have no tips for you here...through my many attempts to make omelets, I inevitably end up with scrambled eggs). I'd suggest serving with a dusting of powdered sugar. Mmm. And of course, this dish must be called the Nutty Pig Omelet. You are hereby forbidden to serve it without calling it by its proper name.

On the flip side of the day, you could also use the filling as an ice cream topper...that would be so good...or if you are lucky enough to own an ice cream maker (I will get one someday!), you could TOTALLY ribbon the filling into vanilla ice cream. Can you imagine? Vanilla ice cream with peanut butter bacon ripple. Sign me up! By the way, if you attempt this, the rough steps are to first make the vanilla ice cream in the maker--meanwhile, put a large metal bowl and spoon in the freezer--when the ice cream hits the proper soft stage, pour it into the bowl and spread it out up the sides. Drizzle the filling all over, then fold the sides in over the top. Mix gently, because the more you do, the less the ripple will show. Then plunk it in a freezer container and freeze for at least 24 hours. You should totally call this Nutty Pig ice cream. And serve with more crumbled bacon and chopped peanuts.

YESSSS. Thanks to The Kitchn and that rad vintage book for the inspiration!

Easy Scout Donuts!

Joe showed me this recipe last night...all I have to say is, thank god for boyscouts. This is one of many delicious treats Joe learned to make while on the trail with the scouts...if you have young sons, you should coerce them into joining the scouts just so they learn how to cook. If it is easy enough to make while camping...you can probably pull it off at home with a minimum of effort.


Easy Scout Donuts:
1 can of refrigerated buttermilk biscuit dough
Enough oil to fill a small saucepan
Powdered sugar

1. Shape the donut. Crack open the tube of dough, remove one biscuit, and poke a hole in the middle. Squish the dough into a shape befitting a proper donut.

2. Fry the donut. After heating the pot of oil on the stove, drop in the dough. Make sure that it doesn't stick to the sides or bottom of the pot. After a minute, flip over the donut with tongs. The donut should be a nice golden brown on both sides before you take it out of the oil...generally about 2 minutes or so. It's a pretty quick process.

3. Season the donut. Put powdered sugar in a bowl with a lid, add the hot donut, and shake to coat. You could also create a glaze by boiling sugar water until it's thick...or you could coat with regular sugar...cinnamon sugar...maple syrup...just think of the possibilities!

Nom.

Christmas in July Sugar Cakes

I know it's trite, but it IS July...

This is a family recipe that always made an appearance during Christmastime when I was a kid. These cookies...we call them cakes because they're so soft and tall...are just plain delicious. They're basically a fluffy, cake-like sugar cookie. They are simply fantastic with a glass of milk...after you have a bite of one, soaked in cool delicious milk, you'll never go back. Also, if you have kids (or let's face it, most of us would enjoy doing this), these cakes are a fantastic canvas for decorating. Break out your colored sugars and jimmies! If you're really not into happy creativity like that, a good alternative is black magic goth sugar. Just kidding...obviously, emo tears would be a more effective topping to mourn the fact that you don't have enough creative spirit to decorate a cookie with colored sugar.

Did I mention that they're pretty easy to make and bake? They're electric and hand-mix friendly.

Sugar Cakes Recipe
Yields about 100

-2c sugar
-1c butter
-3 eggs
-1c buttermilk
-4c flour
-2t baking powder
-1t baking soda
-1t vanilla

Tip: Buttermilk Substitute

If you don't have any buttermilk on hand, an easy work-around is to mix 1 tablespoon of lemon juice into 1 cup of milk (any sort of milk will work). I'd recommend you do that now...the mix will need some time to turn into buttermilk substitute...about 5-10 minutes is good. If you don't have lemon juice, you're still screwed. Go to the store and get buttermilk AND lemon juice...the juice keeps for a decently long time.

1. Cream the first 3 ingredients. That's the sugar, butter, and eggs, if you were wondering. I recommend creaming the butter first (get it nice and warm...don't be afraid to microwave it for a 10 seconds or so if it's chilly from the fridge) and then adding the sugar...and then the eggs. If you don't have an electric mixer, I highly recommend using a potato masher. I have turned out more awesome batches of these cookies in my home kitchen using a potato masher than an electric mixer...there's something magical about it. I like to call the masher my "secret ingredient." Really throws people off, since it's not even an ingredient, per say.

Tip: Cracking an Egg

I used to think I had decent experience cracking eggs. After my first day working at The Flour Child (an amazing bakery in Columbia, PA...cry now if you're not close enough to visit...OK, that's enough.), I thought differently. I'll just say that I had the privilege of cracking somewhere close to 30 eggs that day...just for one recipe. If you're a pastry chef, that probably would not faze you...but lemme tell ya, it was an eye-opening introduction to the world of professional baking! And it was delightful. Anyway, since then, I've developed my egg-cracking technique somewhat, and I'd like to share. This method rarely yields egg shell bits in the batter, which was my main issue before...

1. Hold the egg securely in one hand (I prefer a loose 3-finger baseball grip). 

2. Tap the middle of the egg lightly, but firmly, on the edge of the bowl you're using. 

3. Rotate the egg slightly, and tap the egg again, continuing the crack line.

4. Rotate and tap again. By this time, the top half of the shell should be coming loose enough to easily remove.


2. Dissolve baking soda in buttermilk. I like to use a fork to stir it up really well.

3. Combine flour and baking powder. Be sure to stir well.

4. Add milk and flour mixtures alternately to butter mixture. Add one...mix. Add the other...mix. Continue until you've added all of the mixtures together.

5. Add vanilla. Beat well.

6. Prep for baking. Drop by rounded tablespoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet. If you don't have a cookie scoop (like an ice cream scoop, but appropriately sized!), you should seriously invest in one. I just googled and found one for $3. If you don't have a cookie scoop, the cakes will turn out just fine. The important thing is to make sure all the cookies are similar in size...so they bake at the same rate and finish together. These expand easily twice to three times their batter size, so beware of placing the cookies too close to each other.

7. Decorate. Red, green, blue, yellow...layer 'em on! The more sugar the better! Plain old sugar is just fine too...you'll enjoy the extra kick.

8. Bake. Bake at 400-degrees F for 8 minutes. I like to have three cookie sheets rotating...by the time I finish filling one tray, the one in the oven is about half done.

Calories: About 60 apiece.

Variations!

Hot Cocoa: Add chocolate chips to the batter. Just imagine morsels of melty chocolate floating in soft, sweet, fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth cake. Yep.

Frosty the Snow Dork: Add a teaspoon of peppermint extract. 


****May visions of sugar cakes dance in your heads...****